Jokes
"Newton in romantic mood......

Universal law:
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“Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transferred from 1 girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money . “

1st law:

“A boy in love with a girl, continues to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continues to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and
breaks the legs of the boy.“

2nd law:

“The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is the same as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. “

3rd law:

“The force applied while proposing a girl by a guy is equal & opposite
to the force applied by the girl while proposing a guy."

Embarrassing Situation

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman

sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er...

excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"

She responds in a loud voice :

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them. The young man is surprised,

shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.

After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes,

and says, "You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how

people respond to embarrassing situations."

The young man responds loudly with,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THREE THOUSAND RUPEES.

THATS TOO MUCH !"

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1. A Foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD. After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell-a-Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. Let us be generous like this: Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says: No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

6. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

7. Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE?
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.


8. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from
Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the
ELECTRICITY BILL.

9. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because as per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.


Conclusion:

"A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein
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